Love in the time of banking- Part 1: Miss Crimson

“Luck in business like luck in love, is a game of numbers”- Anonymous

Bankers love numbers and I loved bankers. One too many investment banking internship interview questions had taught me to self-identity as a "quant."

Definition: Quant- short for 'quantitative': someone possessing a natural affinity for numbers.

Example: It doesn't take a quant to figure out that bankers make bank.

As a freshman in college with one eye fixed on wall street and the other on the Wall Street Journal, romance was an unwanted distraction from the ultimate goal of securing the apple of my eye: an offer letter from a  bulge bracket investment bank. So it was rather unexpected when cupid struck me in the most un-banker like of locations- a greyhound bus.

what I traveled in vs. what I imagined I should be travelling in 

This is my story of love told in numbers:

   

212: Distance measured in miles from New York City Bus Terminal to Boston Copley Square Bus Stop

33: Outside temperature measured in degrees Fahrenheit

6: Layers of clothing I was wearing (which included a suitable leather jacket and several other layers not worth mentioning)

3: Number of thermal underwear I wore by October of my freshman year. (Mental note: Winter is coming already here)

1: First winter of my life

0: Amount of tolerance Africans have for American winter

4: Hours of travel time I planned to spend thumbing through the vision bible

2: Number of empty seats available on the bus

1: Hot black (possibly African) girl who chose to sit next to me

40: Percentage Increase in heart beats per minute once she told me she was a freshman at Harvard College

20: Percentage decrease in heart beats per minute when she identified herself as Nigerian American*

25: Percentage increase in heart beats per minute as she further identified herself as a ‘Pre-Med’ student

*No offence intended to my Nigerian and Nigerian American friends. As they say: “no wahala dey”

What all pre-med female students could eventually evolve to:  Claire Huxtable  

7: Figure income of a D.I.N.K** power couple (Investment Banker and Doctor Miss Crimson***)

3: Number of awkward smiles flashed as I did the math on the strategic nature of such a possible union

2: Times I thanked God that she chose to sit next to me on the bus

Definition of terms

** D.I.N.K: Double Income No Kids- this is the supreme state of co-habitation in Manhattan

*** Crimson: Patent number US126778987 (i just made that up) covering the unique crimson color of the Harvard College emblem

*** Miss Crimson: A suitable specimen species of the Harvard College universe

30: Minutes Dr. Miss Crimson napped on the bus journey to Boston

30: Minutes I watched Dr. Miss Crimson nap on the bus journey to Boston

30: Cringe worthy points as I remember doing the aforementioned

10: Digits in an American phone number (virtually impossible to memorize)

6: Number of times I envisioned our future marriage on the bus ride

3: Number of days hours I waited to call and ask for a date after disembarking from the bus

8: Number of friends I informed of my upcoming date with Dr. Miss Crimson

3: Hours spent in downtown Boston picking the perfect smart casual look for the date

2: Gifts my friends (wrongly) advised me to bring to the date

28: Minutes of commuting time from my college dorm to Harvard square for the date

25: Number of students in my freshman class who were secretly trying to transfer to Harvard College before sophomore year

20: US dollar budget per head I could seriously afford for the date

100: US dollars I carried with me for the date in the earliest example of bankers who spend beyond their means

60: Minutes I arrived earlier than necessary to ‘scope’ out the territory and plan the pseudo spontaneous nature of the date that I would pretend to display

3: Restaurants in Harvard Square which seemed romantic but spontaneous in my naive opinion (namely: Au Bon Pain, Fire & Ice and Bertucci's)

9: Times spent changing the exact posture to assume when she walked towards me

3: Kisses on cheeks (like my euro fashion style)

1: Awkward look on her face when I presented her with a box of chocolates and a dozen roses

3: Hours automatically cut off from time Dr Miss Crimson had budgeted for our date once she received my surprise gift set

2: Minutes spent deliberating my limited choice of ‘spontaneous’ restaurant suggestions

1: Hour which the date lasted from the 3 kisses to the 1 and only goodbye

20: Minutes I spent describing my passion to become an investment banker

10: Minutes of awkwardness after Miss Crimson remarked that my passion was pretty shallow

2: Minutes Miss Crimson spent describing her motivation to become a doctor

55: US dollar total cost of dinner

45: US dollars saved when she declined my offer to get dessert

35: Temperature outside in degrees Fahrenheit as I walked Miss Crimson back to her dorm gate

78: Number of female applicants accepted into Harvard Medical School in August 2005

77: Other female pre-med students I could potentially date

Priceless: Lesson learned that an investment banker and an idealist should never date

                                       ____________ The End____________

Next week: Act 1: Scene 4: Boredom in Babylon